Chaotic, but blessed.

I barely have time to sit down and write this and even as I do, I can think of a million other more productive things I should be doing.

 

Oh well!

 

I've been thinking about blogging for weeks now, but the time is just never right. If I do manage to have a gap in my day I have to go to back rehab. If bio parents fail to confirm their visits, that leaves me time to volunteer at the girls' school. If my two littles actually take a nap at the same time, I suddenly have time to log community service hours or put together a tryout packet for cheerleading. It's never ending and always changing.

 

It's been interesting to see my life change so drastically over this last year and it has changed so much, in fact, that I find myself reflecting on it a lot. Gone are the days of sleeping in and homeschooling my girls according to whatever schedule best suited our lifestyle. Hello are the days of 6:00AM wake-up calls, taking kids to school, heading straight to back rehab, home in just enough time for a surprise home visit with our CCM, a quick load of laundry before maintenance comes to fix our toilet, rushing off to a cheerleading planning meeting, having Johnathon pick up the two little ones from my meeting to run over and pick up the twins from school, relieved to remember that I planned a somewhat easy dinner, homework and bed!!

 

Are you exhausted just reading that? So am I.

 

Madelynn has mastered how to take her picture with the webcam.

 

*Please ignore my untidy house and the fact that I am using our high chair as a plant stand.*

 

Oh, yeah, Madelynn got bangs. I asked the lady for thick side swept bangs because of her many cowlicks. Instead we got thin blunt bangs. :(

 

I try to style them as I dry her hair and it seems to be working for now. She is still precious!!

 

Madelynn wants so badly to go to school, but she is enjoying her time home with baby D and myself. She is still head-over-heels in love with D and spoils him rotten on a daily basis. We've been practicing our letters and their sounds when we find time and she seems to be picking them up quickly. Honestly, she doesn't have a huge interest in it. That makes things a little difficult, but what's new? That's Madelynn for you!



Alyssa and Allison are thriving at their new school and I am thankful every day that we were able to find this school and become part of such a wonderful community. We have all made some amazing friendships and for the first time since I moved to California 7.5 years ago, I have a sense of belonging and 'family' around us. The girls are singing songs to us in Mandarin, building shoebox animal dioramas and asking to have sleepovers and playdates. I think they are pretty happy as well.

Baby D is still in our home. He will be 7 months old soon and hitting so many milestones. There isn't too much else that I can report other than we have a court date soon approaching and that should bring with it a few decisions in the case. We are aware of what the recommendations will be and at this point, we agree. The decisions that will be made on this day are genuinely what is in the best interest for D. From that point on, I'm not enthusiastic about where the case may go, but only time will tell. Johnathon and I appreciate your prayers as we continue on this journey as foster parents. 

Life is busy, but great.

Stressful, but rewarding.

Chaotic, but blessed.

 

xoxo

It never fails.

Alyssa and Allison each have their own beds, but at the moment, they share a bedroom.

 

Without fail, this is how we find them 9 out of 10 nights.

 

Speaking of them having their own bedrooms, I wanted to share a little bit of our story.

 

Johnathon and I, due to our growing family, recently tried to apply for larger housing. We currently live in military housing which is privatized and ran by Lincoln Military Housing. When we originally went to them with our situation, we were told to put D on Johnathon's Page 2 and we could easily apply for larger housing.

 

WRONG.

 

The military will not allow us to put D on Johnathon's Page 2 because we are neither his parents OR his legal guardians. Their reasoning for this is clear, they do not want D to receive benefits that do not belong to him, such as medical, etc. This I completely agree and understand. My issue is, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.

 

For those of you who do not know, when you originally apply for housing (at least here in San Diego), you first apply with Navy Housing. They see what branch of the military you are, your rank and your number of dependents. Then they let Lincoln Military housing know what size of home you qualify for. You will sign a lease with BOTH Navy Housing and Lincoln Military Housing.

 

This is how we handled our situation.

 

We filled out an Exceptions To Policy Form explaining why we wish to have our foster child acknowledged as a member of our family and that we do indeed need larger housing. We also had Johnathon's command write up an endorsement for us on command letter head. We then submitted that with our foster parent certification to Navy Housing.

 

It took two weeks to hear back, but we have officially been cleared for larger housing and D is officially being recognized as a member of our family (NOT on Johnathon's Page 2, but in everyway that matters to us!).

 

There is a HUGE wait list and we are managing just fine in our current home, but for me, this battle is simply about getting our foster children to be recognized. So many people wanted to brush us off in the beginning and treat us like he shouldn't matter because "foster care is temporary".

 

I could have smacked them all.

 

Instead, I persisted and annoyed anyone who would listen until I got the right answer.

 

My point for explaining all of this is that I am sure I am not the only person who has encountered this issue and I want to be an example for anyone who may need help in the future.

 

In the end, it wasn't even about getting an extra bedroom. I was on a mission to be the voice for any child in foster care. In the foster system or not, these children need to be recognized and loved. They deserve at least that.



Eager and Willing

My philosophy going into foster care was that I wanted to maintain the best relationship possible with every bio-parent that we came into contact with. There were so many perks to this way of thinking.

1. It will be better for the child to see a good healthy relationship.
2. Whether the child is reunified or adopted, good communication will make everything easier.
3. Visits would be less awkward.
4. No matter the end result, this child would remain having us all in his life.

I could go on and on.

Boy, oh boy, did that philosophy change.

Do I still think that all parties involved should try to maintain a responsible, respectful and courteous relationship? Of course!!

You see, that's the issue.

I soon realized that the majority of bio-parents that we would meet would NOT be responsible, respectful and courteous.

I've given much thought to sharing my story. I mean, what's allowed and what's not. I'm technically not allowed to share 'their' story, but isn't this my story too? Aren't I a HUGE part of this story?

My point is not to release private details or make anyone look bad, it's to share my experiences and show this challenging and stressful side of foster care.

I get along fine with D's bio-parents, but that doesn't mean that I am supportive of all of their decisions.

Something that I have learned as a foster parent is that not everyone is respectable of the rules and guidelines. That can be very difficult to handle when you constantly go out of your way to do the exact opposite and create a positive environment.

When my phone rings I literally have to say to myself, "This is a business call".
 If not, there is too much emotion.

I feel a lot of guilt when there is a missed visit, even if I am the only one who showed up and remembered about it.

Being a foster parent is balancing a fine line between not letting yourself get walked on and not walking over others.

When we received our first placement I was eager and willing to do whatever I needed to do in order to make this a positive experience. Going into our next placement, I have developed thicker skin and I am more aware of what is expected of me.

Someone recently asked me if being a foster parent was harder then what I thought it would be. My response was simple, no. It is EXACTLY as hard as I thought it would be.

This is almost exactly what I thought the bio-parents would be like. The hard part is living it. It's thinking in a moment how to respond to such an absurd comment or question. It's learning to communicate with a teenager equivalent.

Baby D is still in our home and thriving. In fact, DSEP was here recently and she was so impressed with his development. He rolled over at 6 weeks and coos non-stop. He is perfect in every way.

Who woulda thunk it?

If someone would have told me a few months ago that I would be doing the dishes at 7:45am, I would have surely thought that they had lost their mind.

 

I'm having such a productive day today and it quite honestly, it's freaking me out.

 

I took the girls to school early this morning and I even did their hair for a change.

(I usually just brush it and tell them to add a hair band.)

 

As soon as I got home I found myself starting a load of laundry and vacuuming the floors.

 

By 7:45am I was moving on to the dishes and by 8:15am I had swept the kitchen floor, cleaned off the counters and wiped off the kitchen table.

(Can I just note how nasty our kitchen table can get with three little ones. Dur-tay!)

Anyway, it was just a few weeks ago that I was rolling out of bed until well after 9am.

(Thank you, homeschool.)

 

Now, I feel bored before 9am even rolls around.

 

Who woulda thunk this was even possible?

In more exciting news, Alyssa and Allison were accepted and enrolled into a new charter school for the 2013-2014 school year.

 

It's a new charter school opening up this next year and it just happens to be a few blocks away. Without going into too much detail, the girls will be offered a generous amount more than they are currently at a public school. There are foreign language classes and so many opportunities that just aren't available to them now.

 

This will not be a year-round school, which makes me happy, and I love the hours. There will be no more half days and their days will be longer in general.

 

There are uniforms at this school and Alyssa has already voiced her opinion and dislike for that rule. I reassured her by telling her that we would do what we could to make it 'her own' and accessorize. That seems to perk her up.

We painted one wall in our half bathroom last weekend and I love it!! We just need to touch up the sides a bit and add a little decor and I will be posting pictures soon.

Baby D is doing great and growing by the second. He is up to 9lbs now and starting to 'ooh' and 'ah' at me. He smiles on command now when I am holding him and he LOVES bath time.

 

We had another visit with bio-dad this week and that went well.

 

I'm not sure if I shared the news or not, but we will have D for at least 6 more months or so.



A lot of people think it's a bad thing to have him longer, because they think that we will grow too attached and it will be harder to let him go.

 

1) We already are too attached. He could leave tomorrow and it would be equally as hard.

2) This is just part of the game. We knew this would happen and we prepared ourselves for it.

3) Did we understand exactly how it would feel? No, but that doesn't change the fact that we love being foster parents and the pros seriously outweigh the cons in this situation.

 

With all of that being said, I am happy that we get to share our lives with him for a few more months. This Summer is already packed full of fun and I can't wait to experience it all with him.

Alyssa and Allison still have a month left of kindergarten.

 

I see them changing so much lately. It's not that they are more opinionated. Let's face it, they always have been. It's just that they are more detailed about their opinion. They pick out their own clothes EVERYDAY now and tell me what they want done with their hair (usually just down and straight). They want to do everything on their own, including their homework. They know how to read the directions and understand them now and they have made it quite clear that they no longer need our help. They even do their weekly book reports on their own.

 

At the beginning of the school year I was reading the book and writing out what they wanted their book report to say so they could copy it. Now they just grab a book and do it all on their own.

 

Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying this new found freedom, but I find myself using the new free time to get sad over my growing little ladies.

 

xoxo

 

*I didn't proof read...no time!*

Best Job I've Ever Had

I feel guilty a lot.

Well, in this journey through foster care anyway.

When I experience something that every parent should experience, even a parent who had had their children removed from their care, I feel guilty that I get to enjoy it with their child.

When I am not home to answer an important phone call, even if that phone call was made during a specific time when I clearly stated that I would not be home, I feel guilty that I played a part in delaying a visit or having an effect on someone's day.

When a bio-parent is a no-show for a visit, even though we discussed the date and time numerously prior to the scheduled visit date, I feel guilty that I didn't call to remind them and confirm the details the night before.

When I have to leave the visit site 15 minutes after it's scheduled start time because the bio-parent is a no-show, even though I traveled well out of my way to cater to a location just mere blocks from their home, I feel guilty that I can't just meet at their home and make it more convenient on everyone.

I just feel guilty and I can't help that.

As I was discussing this with my social worker, she said something to me that stuck in my mind.

She said, "Sarah, think of it as a part-time job. If you were a professional offering someone a service and they didn't show up to a meeting that they scheduled, would you feel guilty for that? Would you sit around for an hour hoping for them to show up? No, you wouldn't! You would go on about your day and expect them to call, apologize and reschedule. You devote your life to this baby. You take him to his countless visits and appointments. You feed, change and love him when no one else can. HE IS YOUR JOB."

My first reaction was shock. He most certainly is NOT my job. I instantly thought that by titling him as such meant that I didn't enjoy having him around. That wasn't the case at all.

The more I thought about it, the more truth I saw in her statement.

I start my day off every morning with feeding, changing and snuggling with D before I get all three girls up and take the twins to school. When we get home I have about 2 hours to get chores done around the house before the phone starts ringing.

So-and-so is checking on this.
So-and-so needs to schedule that.
So-and-so would like to go over this.

It's a never ending cycle of answering the phone and then needing to call someone else to confirm something that they also do not know the answer to and so forth.

I don't mean to come off as if I am complaining, because I am not. I'm simply explaining how changing my view on things has helped me find my place in this situation. There are so many people who have a say in what is best for D and yet the person who gets the least amount of input is the one who is raising him. It can be very difficult to feel so overlooked.

I thrive on control. Seriously.

Knowing what the plan is, the what-ifs, making a list...that is my control. Now imagine having NO control over anything, but loving this baby. If I didn't think of it as a job then I would surely loose my mind.

This view has also helped me stay on top of my organization. What I mean by that is, there is a ton of paper work. Extra forms must be filled out at every doctors appointment and sent to my FFA social worker. I must keep a contact log where I record EVERY SINGLE contact with any member of the biological families. That included any phone call, email or physical visit. I must record the type of contact, who it was with, how long it lasted, and what the contact was concerning. I must also keep record of all clothing items purchased for D, where they were purchased and how much they cost. I also need to be able to provide receipts for that clothing. All notes regarding the visits with bio-parents need to be typed up and must include only the facts. No opinions are to be allowed.

This can get overwhelming at times and at one point I don't think my husband truly understood how chaotic my afternoons were until he was home one day. When I say that my phone never stops ringing, I mean it.

I don't mind though. I would take on a work load 10 times as difficult if it meant that I could smell D's sweet scent everyday. I wouldn't bat an eye as long as it was D that I got to snuggle with each evening.

He makes it all worth it.

He truly is the best 'job' that I've ever had

Paying Attention

About once a day I have an overwhelming feeling to smack myself.

You see, I THOUGHT that I was paying attention in training. I THOUGHT I had all of the ins and outs of being a foster parent memorized. I THOUGHT that the child or bio family would be the most difficult and tiring part of this journey.

Boy, did I think wrong!

I knew that there would be appointments to schedule and attend, but what I didn't anticipate was the many phone calls that I would receive on a daily basis. Or how tiring it is to explain baby D's story to every desk clerk, nurse and doctor that we see.

By our fourth appointment, though, I had finally gotten a routine down to just handing over our FFA agreement and telling them that they would need a copy. Any other questions were answered with a firm "I'm not at liberty to discuss that." and busily finished filling out the 1000th form of which I could only answer 2% of all the questions.

Because of baby D's young age, there is a lot of paperwork on top of the many appointments and I can't even begin to describe the frustration that comes with that.

Example:
FORM - Please list all family health history.
ME - Yeah, okay!

FORM - Brief description of prenatal care?
ME - Your guess is as good as mine.

You get the idea.

Never mind the fact that NO ONE actually knew D's legal name until last week. It's nice to finally have that information.

Between our Angels social worker, the county social worker, D's attorney, well child check-ups, WIC appointments, infant message lessons and raising three very adorable little girls, life has gotten a little full. I mean that in a good way. I don't mind the fullness and constant moving that comes with being D's foster mom. I actually enjoy it.

We received news last week about what may be D's permanent plan and even though that was a hard pill to swallow, I am happy. I know that this is the best possible situation and that this what will be best for D in the long scheme of things. That doesn't make it any easier on us though.

All three girls are head-over-heels in love with this little man and are constantly asking to hold or feed him. I'm most surprised at how helpful Madelynn has been and how easily she became quite the big sister.

Allison was Star-of-the-Week in her class last week and tomorrow it will be Alyssa's turn. I've had such a fun time helping them pick out the items that they wanted to take to class and show everyone.

I'm not sure what room I want to share next for our Home Tour, but I am thinking about painting our downstairs half bath. I may just hold off and make that the next tour when it is finished.

That's it for now. xoxo

So much for our Redbox night.

It was to be our last weekend as a family of five.

We had very well thought-out plans to relax. You know, rent a Redbox movie, take the girls to the drive-in and gets as much sleep as possible.

God is currently belly laughing at our plans.

I wasn't surprised when my phone started ringing around noon on the afternoon of Friday, April 26th and the words "Angels: Kathleen" popped up on my screen. It's not strange for her to call and check-up on us occasionally. She chatted a little and asked how we were doing and if we were ready for this next chapter in our journey and I giddily talked about how perfectly prepared we were. Those were my last thoughts before she uttered the words, "We received a call last night.".

In a single moment our plans changed.

I can only imagine Johnathon's thoughts as I stared at him bug-eyed and tried to sign with my only available hand that I was currently receiving THE CALL. I frantically searched for a pen and started jotting down every word that Kathleen had to say.

I suddenly didn't feel so ready or prepared.

I told Kathleen that we would call her back and between our giggles of excitement, Johnathon and I weighed the situation and determined whether or not we were up for this challenge. Um, heck yes we were!!

I quickly called her back and accepted the placement.

I left Johnathon with all five kids (ours, plus the two that I babysit) and sprinted up the stairs to shower. As the hot water was pouring down on me, I couldn't help but think of how everything was changing. This was our last day as a family of five. This was my last shower for awhile where I wouldn't feel bad for staying in until my fingers were a wrinkled mess. This little phone call was changing our daughters' lives forever. I was out of there and dressed in five minutes, but it felt much more like an hour.

I had hardly put the brush to my wet tangled hair when my phone rang again and my heart stopped. It was the social worker from the hospital and she had a few questions to ask along with a little more information. That's when we learned that our precious little foster baby would be ready for pick-up this weekend.

I made the appropriate phone calls and my dear friends came to the rescue offering up their pack-n-play, a bounce chair, TONS of clothes and even more support.

I'm not sure how I got any sleep that night, but what little sleep I did get was peaceful and sound.

Johnathon had a volunteer that Saturday morning at a local beach and I agreed to join him as we waited for a phone call from the hospital. By 11am I could hardly stand the wait and made the call myself. I was disappointed when I learned that the baby would probably be spending another night in the hospital and that I would get a call after the doctors made their rounds.

We picked up the girls and got home when I noticed I had a new voicemail.

BABY WAS READY FOR PICK-UP!!

Guidelines to Confidentiality

As our family begins this new chapter in our lives, I thought it important to share with you the confidentiality guidelines that we were given by our agency and will be expected to follow. They are as follows...

Guidelines to Confidentiality

•      Confidentiality should not be kept between you and your Angels Worker.

 It is of utmost importance that your Angels Worker knows what is going on (incidents, information, positive-negative feelings, impacts on family) so we can offer quality support.

•      Case details or bio-family information or stories are shared on only a “need to know” basis.

“Need to Know” people = Angels Social Worker, County Worker, Attorneys.

NOT “Need to Know” people: your neighbor, friends, other Angels families

•      Relevant case details or bio-family information can be shared with service providers or other professionals or alternative caregivers.

For example: sharing relevant background so alternative caregiver understands the child’s behaviors or needs. Giving doctor medical history or protective issue information.

•      Never post case information, child’s name, or photos on any social media outlet.

•      Remind your friends and family of confidentiality and not to post pictures of child anywhere.

•      Special considerations for communicating with other Angels Families:

•      Do not mass/group email Angels Foster Families unless it’s something very basic like announcing placement of a child (first name only, NO case details, can attach a pic).

•      Do not share case details or bio-family information.

•      If you are seeking support or guidance or expressing hardships, please do so to other individual, not a group.

•      Please remember no two fostering experiences, perceptions, or case dynamics are the same.

 

.   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .

 

Now that you know what we cannot share, it's very important that I ask you to do the same. We will be Skyping with our family and close friends and because of that, many of you will have the opportunity to know this child's name, accidentally take a picture of this child or receive a family photo including this child. You are also expected NOT TO SHARE THIS INFORMATION on ANY social media.

 

No Facebook posts including any information about the foster child will be accepted.

 

I also ask that you do not take it personally if something that you say or ask is deleted from my Facebook page or if I ask you remove a picture of the foster child from your page.

 

These are our rules and we appreciate your support.

 

Please trust me when I say that I hate these rules just as much as the rest of you, but we must do what is best for the child and it's family.

 

I would also like to add that I am very much on top of the rules and regulations regarding my title as 'Foster Mom' and do not appreciate having someone question my knowledge and understanding of such over Facebook. If you do not approve of my actions or feel as though I am acting in such a way that is detrimental to our foster child then please have the manners and sense to private message me or email me. I give my email out for these exact reasons and it can be found by clicking the "OUR STORY" tab on the right side of the screen. 

 

I try very hard to keep my Facebook page (both personal and blog page) free of drama, but I cannot promise to bite my tongue the next time that someone tries to correct me in a passive aggressive way. I don't respond well to "know-it-alls" and do take offense to that.

 

Thank you!

The First

One of the families from our training class received their first placement last night.

 

It's a very bitter sweet feeling.

 

I am so excited for this couple. They were so kind and genuine over that long weekend of training and I know that they will provide a wonderful home for this little guy. Out of all of the families, I am most excited to see them with a placement.

 

I'm also feeling a little sad that we are still waiting on paperwork. I was coping with the waiting just fine until I received that email this morning. Now I feel frustrated with it all and I am eager to get this all over with.

 

I know that God has a plan for us and that we are on His timing, but letting go of all control is very difficult.

 

If I am being honest, I am nervous.

 

We took the girls to the store the other night and as we were putting them in the Van to go home, I couldn't help but think about what life will be like with another little one. I'm not having any doubts about our decision, just jitters.

 

I've been staying up a little later at night and I can't help but wonder if I am subconsciously getting myself ready for midnight feedings and early morning snuggles.

 

Anyway, I just thought that I would share their exciting news and jot down a few of my feelings.

 

xoxo

First Time Jitters

I'm nervous.

Not so much about the fostering part of things, but about the parenting part.

I feel as though I am a first time parent and find myself worrying about midnight feedings, the right bottles to use and diaper rash creams. I worry about having enough time in the day and adjusting our schedule. I think about buying diapers again and whether or not we will be entertaining a little girl or boy. I wonder if we are ready to lug a newborn to the park and what we will do on particularly cold days. I suppose I will just stay home with the baby while Johnathon takes the older girls. That makes me sad, but at least I will get extra baby snuggles.

I guess this is all just what comes with the territory and I am more than up for the challenge, but it is all just weighing heavily on my mind. I do not remember being this concerned over little things before my girls were born. I remember being excited and ready.

I think all of this is because I let myself get comfortable. I've gotten a taste of 'mommy freedom' and I'm scared to give it all back. Even though Madelynn is only 3 years old, she is very independent. She uses the restroom on her own, gets herself dressed and could play quietly if needed. It's difficult to get your mindset ready for a newborn when you do not have the discomfort and daily reminder of a pregnancy.

So often I want to go to Target or Babies-R-Us and start stock piling all of the necessary items: bottles, diapers, onesies, socks, bibs, burp clothes, etc. and get excited about our soon-to-be new arrival. However, we simply do not know what gender the child will be, their age or how long they will be staying in our home.

If you know me at all, you know that I do not do well without a controlled environment and the fact that I can't control my thoughts is torturous.

I've been putting a lot of my time and effort into the nursery. I've chosen a color theme and am slowly picking things out and I even painted the crib this last weekend. I meant for it to be grey, but our selections were limited and it turned out to be a dark bluish grey. It looks good, but I am having a lot of guilt over it being not so gender neutral. I suppose a child in foster care would be happy to have any bed of their own, regardless of color, but it bothers me.

Johnathon and I attended our CPR and First Aid certification classes this last weekend also. It was a great refresher course and I am so glad that we went. I think that all parents should be required to take those classes.

I can't help but stare at every baby/child that we pass at a store and wonder what it would be like to have them in our home. Obviously, Alyssa is doing the same thing because she asks me if we can take every baby that she sees home with us.

"Can we have that one?" she'll ask. It's precious.

I continue to remind her that we do not get to choose the child, more like we just need to be available SHOULD one of them need us. That is hard for a 5 year old to understand. I can only imagine how hard it will be when I have to explain to her that the baby will be going back to his/her birth parents. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

*Where are we in the process?

We are still finishing up a few of the details in our paperwork. I'm hoping to VLOG about it all soon, but because we are from Illinois and have had an Illinois address in the last 5 years (during Johnathon's deployment) and still have an Illinois drivers license, we've had to add about 10 extra steps to something that should have been easily taken care of. It's no big deal, just time consuming. Like I stated before, we got our CPR and First Aid certification done this last weekend. We are still waiting for our driving records in the mail and with any luck we will be getting our fingerprinting done this week. Character references have been sent out and countless papers have been filled out and returned. We've gotten the all clear from our doctors and have turned our hot water heater down to 120 degrees. It's been an exhausting couple of weeks, but we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Once the last few pieces of paperwork are submitted we will attend our 24 hours of training and complete our home visit.

Yay!

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

 

I set my alarm for 6am and left myself enough time to shower and even shave my legs before I needed to wake up the girls for school. All three girls were up and dressed in record time and I was on a roll. The two neighbor girls came over and a little later we were all in the van on our way to the school. I was feeling like super mom and was sure that I could conquer the world.

 

In the midst of normal early morning chatter in the van, Alyssa asks me if it is supposed to rain ice. Shocked by such an informative and mature question, I quickly respond with, "No, I don't think so, but I didn't watch the news this morning."

 

Nothing else is said about it.

 

We get to the school and I am unloading the last of five children when I feel a rain drop on my face. I tell the girls to walk quickly as it is starting to rain. We hadn't even moved a few feet when it started to hail. Large pieces of hail were hitting us as we ran the block to the school. All five kids were screaming and the two in the stroller were COVERED in ice. This is NO exaggeration, folks!

 

We stayed inside the school for a minute or two until it started to calm down and then we took off for the van again. I kid you not, we only got a few feet before it started to hail again. *sigh*

 

I've been home, calm and dry for a few hours now and I'm only just now starting to see the humor in the situation. It was sure a morning for the record books.

Once

I blogged a whopping ONE TIME in January. Just once. That's it!

 

I wasn't exactly busy, just living life.

 

Alyssa and Allison started public school last month and that has been quite the journey. It was a rough start, but I think that we are all starting to enjoy this new chapter.

 

I've been working with Madelynn on how to spell her name. We have made it to M-a-d-e and then she gets distracted. *sigh* It's a process, right?!

 

With the start of public school, we also adapted a new bedtime...not just for the girls either.

All three girls now head up to bed a little before 7 and are usually asleep by 7:15. I, on the other hand, am not far behind them and like to be in bed no later than 9. This old night owl has changed her ways! I guess a 6am wake-up call will do that to someone.

 

Johnathon's mom also came to visit for a few weeks. It had been so long since we had any company in our home, it was a nice change of pace. I know the girls are sad that she left and miss seeing her everyday.

 

A few months ago I purchased tickets to see Disney on Ice: Dare to Dream and we attended that as well. I have more pictures, but here is one of the whole gang before the show.

 

 

It was such a fabulous show and even the adults enjoyed it.

 

I've started babysitting for the two neighbor girls, K and T. It's just a temporary situation while other arrangements can be made, but we are having a fun time with it. I know Madelynn wakes up every morning excited to see her friends. It does make for a busy day, but that's nothing new to me.

 

I can't remember what I covered in my last foster care update, but we passed our MMPI-2 and were approved by the board. We had our in-depth interview with our social worker and were given a folder of paper work to complete along with our finger printing, DMV records, first aid & CPR certification, and clearance from our doctors. This round of paper work makes the application look like child's play. Again, it's not that it's hard to complete, just time consuming and full of making appointments. Thank goodness for Kathleen, our social worker. She is so patient and answers my 15 daily emails.

 

Initially, we were very excited when we snagged the last spot in the January training class, but soon realized that we were perhaps biting off more than we could chew. We suddenly found ourselves overwhelmed and rushed with the entire process and that is just not the way that we were wanting this to be. It was in no way the fault of the agency, just us being too enthusiastic. We will now be joining the next class and that opened up a 5 week window to get all of our appointments scheduled.

 

We will still be certified much sooner than I had originally thought and I am very happy about that.

 

That's enough for now, I have two 3 year old girls begging me to play with Mr. Potato head. :)

Changes Are A Comin'

I have elf pictures for those of you who want to know what Taxi HeyHey and Snowflake have been up to. I will do my best to get them posted this week, but they are a bit out of order due to Alyssa and Allison being placed on the "Naughty List" and the elves not showing up for a few days. No worries, all three girls are currently on the "Nice List" and all is well in our home.

In fact, things are better than well and I am so excited to share the news with all of you...

First of all, Alyssa and Allison will be entering public school for the second half of their kindergarten year. This is something that we have thought about, prayed about, talked about, argued about (with the girls) and eventually come to an agreement that we were all happy with. The girls have begged us to go to public school for awhile now. It's not so much that they think they will enjoy it more, it's simply because it is what they see their friends doing. Neighbor kids get on and off of the bus daily, kids talk about their teachers and friends at dance class and the girls notice that homeschooling isn't the 'norm'. This alone is not what changed our minds. It was however, what made me start to look into our options.

Private school is just out of the question because we, unfortunately, do NOT have $10,000+ to spend on education a year. Sorry, the military does not pay that well and with me not working, it's simply not an option. That brought me to public school. *sigh* I was not thrilled with the idea, but I didn't let that stop me. What I found was surprising. Our local elementary school just so happens to be a top rated school with excellent test scores. After days and days of endless conversation, Johnathon and I set up a tour of the school. I was shocked that as we toured room by room and met teacher after teacher, I was actually liking the school.

We finally talked it through and decided that the girls would finish out their kindergarten year in public school and we would reevaluate our decision at the end of the year. So, our little ladies will no longer be homeschooled as of January 2013. I'm very sad with this decision because I was truly enjoying my time with the girls and homeschooling was going so smoothly. The girls were learning and reading...it was everything I hoped it would be. If it were only up to me, we would continue with that route. However, in order to do what is best for our family and each girl individually, I think they need to experience this for themselves and what better time to do that then in kindergarten!!

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . 

 

I am writing this and being open with my readers in hopes that I can help at least one other family in their decision to adopt/foster. Please try not to judge us and OUR choice as we are doing what we think is right for OUR family. I would appreciate ONLY kind and encouraging comments. Thanks.

 

A few months ago I dropped the bombshell that Johnathon and I were going to adopt. Well, I figure it's time for an update.

 

We made a promise to ourselves that we would wait 6 months after we returned from deployment to make any major decisions so could enjoy that time as a family. We knew from the beginning that it would be after the first of the year before we made anything 100% with a certain agency. We found a few agencies that we really liked but it always came down to...

 

A) Private Domestic Adoption

or

B) Foster to Adopt through the county

 

There were a lot of pro and cons for each of them. For instance, a private domestic adoption would give us the opportunity to be picky (gender), but it came a cost. Literally! Not only would it cost us an arm and a leg, but most adoptions are open; meaning that the biological parents/extended family would continue to communicate with us. We just weren't sure if that was what was right for our family.

 

I have three sisters who were adopted out of foster care so I have seen first hand how that can affect not only the adopted child, but everyone involved.

 

It was a very hard choice and one that we went back and forth on almost daily.

 

In the end we decided to...

 

are you ready...

 

can you guess...

 

we are going to...

 

FOSTER!! (With the hopes of one day adopting through the foster system.)

 

More details coming tomorrow! :)