February 29, 2012

Let Me Explain...

It's been awhile since my last post. I know!

It's been a hard few weeks for me, in more way than one.

I find it very difficult to blog if I cannot be 100% honest in my writing. In fact, I am sometimes so honest that I tend to ramble on and make no sense. :)

The truth is, I've been having chest pain. It started the weekend before Valentine's Day and has sent me into a roller coaster of emotions. I have no answers as of yet, but I will keep everyone updated.

I also learned the following weekend that a young man on Johnathon's ship has been killed. I couldn't handle it. A woman was informed in Valentine's Day that her husband of one short year would not be coming home from what should have been a pretty routine and safe deployment.

You see, that is what bothered me so much. I get so sick of everyone telling me, 'Atleast he is in the Navy and should be safe.' or 'He's on a ship, so it's not an actual deployment'. No branch is necessarily 100% safe from harm and the fact that he is on a ship has nothing to do with whether or not it is a deployment. Until you have walked even a step in my shoes, don't judge. I find it rude that when someone asks where my husband is deployed and I respond with ' the ----- sea' they instantly say, 'Oh, well he's safe then'. I don't want to go into OPSEC or anything, but Johnathon is currently in a very dangerous part of the globe and it hurts my feelings when people make it seem like what he is doing is less important than being stationed in the desert out there. We should all be thankful for what every soldier is doing for this country.

You can learn more about the details on Johnathon's deployment by going to the USS Makin Island's Facebook page.

I am getting through my days the best that I can. I am able to put a forced smile on my face most of the time, but it's hard. I don't blog as often because I don't want pity, it's just...hard. Hard to enjoy the good times, hard to get through the bad times, lonely during the normal boring everyday times....just hard. I am making it work and counting down the days until we are all together again.

I thank God everyday that I have these three beautiful girls to keep me going.

I may not have been blogging, but I have been taking pictures...

Watch for those later in the week!!!

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