October 5, 2011

Alive and Well

i just wanted to say that yes, i am alive and doing well. my computer is broken and to be quite honest, it is low on my list of priorities at the moment. i am posting this from my parent's house, who just so happen to have a broken key board...oh the story of my life. haha

homeschool is going fabulous and i hope to write more about that when i get my computer fixed. they continue to love their dance class and are learning so much. i worry about allison, she is constantly off in her own little world and as i noticed last week during 'watch week', she doesn't always obey her dance teacher. i've talked to her, but i doubt she took me all that serious.

madelynn is amazing and changing in every way possible. her second birthday is this friday and i'm having a mix of emotions about it. how can my baby possibly be two already. [fyi...my question mark doesn't work] i am happy to see her maturing and learning so much every day, but with her daddy gone, i hate that she is changing and growing so much.

speaking of johnathon, he will be home in a few weeks and i am so excited. the girls miss him so much that my heart aches every time that they bring up his name. alyssa told me tonight that she doesn't believe me when i say that he will be home soon. she thinks that he has been gone so long and that he isn't coming back. it breaks my heart. last week at 'watch week' for the girls' dance class, allison asked me where her daddy was. when i explained that he was at work, she asked me why everyone else's daddy was there to watch them. she went on to ask if their daddy's worked and if they did, why did they get off in time to watch the class. those are hard questions to answer and explain to two four year old girls who miss their daddy so much.

my mom's second round of chemo was cancelled and her surgeon has decided that she wants a few tests to be done so they can determine whether or not they want to proceed with surgery. it's scary and i think that i am so numb to my feelings at this point that i am unsure how i feel about it all. i'm sure one day soon the reality will hit me, but until then i will continue to be her rock.


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