August 30, 2009

my mind is so full of thoughts that i am finding it hard to get it all written down. i apologize if this comes out as a confusing mumbo it goes!

im 33 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child, but its only my 2nd pregnancy. even though my last pregnancy was twins, my body is taking this pregnancy so much worse. the biggest difference is that my stomach has not been stretched as far or as fast...that and swelling were my only problems with the twins. this time its a whole new can of body obviously HATES being pregnant. something new aches everyday and i am finding it hard to even stand for long periods of time. i have myself so worked up over going into preterm labor that i have officially annoyed every person i talk to. i have gone over every single possible situation in my head and then just HAD to say it again out loud to whoever will listen. not only am i scared that i will go early, but what if my husband isn't back from deployment in time to welcome our daughter into this world. as time gets closer and the due date is near, i am starting to lighten up a bit...but the thoughts are still there and its shakes me to the core. im also getting MORE stretch marks!! its not like the stomach full i got with the twins was bad enough, i am now getting more. i bet they will be up to my neck after its all said and done. :)

i got a new email from Johnny, he is at his third and final port!! he had to stand watch today so he was unable to go out and explore, but i believe he is taking a tour of some ruins on Tuesday. he sounds like he is truly having a good time out to sea and enjoying this new experience. the countdown is coming to an end (finally) as he gets into San Diego in exactly 15 days!! at least then he will be able to call more often and talk more than 20-30 min. at a time. i have to admit that i have been pretty spoiled with this little adventure. with Johnny being an E-5 now he was able to get more computer time and email at least once a day. he also got to call home many many times and it sure was nice to be able to hear his voice after so long. he has been able to hear first hand some of the words that the twins are learning. i think the biggest shock when he gets home is that he is now going to be able to hold actual conversations with his girls. :) i can't wait to hear what the three of them have to say.

bed rest SUCKS!! and to be quite honest, i am sick of everyone having something to say about how much i am sleeping, walking and drinking water! ugh! would someone please try to go from being a super active 100% full time mom to twin 2 year sitting on the couch 24/7. its not easy at all and i feel like i am doing my best. yes, i pick them up every once in awhile, but how can you tell a little girl who is screaming your name that you won't pick her up. she doesn't understand, and i am very careful. i know its bad...BUT SOMEONE PLEASE SYMPATHIZE WITH ME! i also don't feel like i should have to apologize for wanting to leave the house once a week. sometimes its just nice to look at something other than the living room walls for a change. its amazing how nice it feels to have fresh air hit my cheeks. i do have to say that this week has been extra stressful with all of the family drama going on, but these next few days should be wonderfully boring!! :(

i am getting excited/nervous about our 30 hour trip back to California with 3 kids. two 2 year olds and a newborn...we sure are brave, huh?! i know we can handle and a part of me is even looking forward to the challenge, i just hope it goes as smoothly as i have it all planned in my head...haha, who am i kidding?! its going to be a nightmare! i am buying the twins a dual portable DVD player for the truck this week (don't freak out, it will be online shopping!). i figure if we put the baby on one side and twins on the other, they can watch one screen and whoever isn't driving can watch the other up front. i also need to start stocking up on snacks and creative ways to keep the girls happy. if you have any tips or ideas, please feel free to let me know. :)

all of the kids are officially in school now. tomorrow is Johnathan's first day of preschool and i think he is really excited about it. Breanna and Emma are just loving being in the same school, but different classrooms. riding the bus is also the highlight of their day. they always come running home and throw their book bags at me as they dart back outside to play with the neighbor boys. it brings back so many memories of when i was their age and playing with all the kids in the neighborhood.

like i said earlier, we are having a little bit of family drama. i don't want to say too much at the moment, just that your thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated. we should know a little more tomorrow, but this has been one crazy and eventful week. thanks!


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