September 2, 2008

-i just got done ironing johnny's utilities for tomorrow. i must say that they looked horrible from being on the ship. as any wife of a top flight sailor knows, taking uniforms to the cleaners just isn't good enough. they will come back wrinkly and with double creases. AHH! it was while i was ironing that i got to thinking about my life as a military wife. never in a million years would i have guessed that this is where my life would have taken me. i like to think of myself as a strong woman, but i was never interested in joining the military and being in a war zone. i guess that's just not my thing. when i first learned that johnny was interested in joining the Navy i wanted nothing to do with him. yes, i was proud of him, but i was scared that i would never see him due to housing orders and the thought of getting close to someone who could be hurt so easily frightened me to the core. ignoring all of my instincts, i fell in love with him 6 months before he left for boot camp.

i now live in San Diego with him and our two daughters. he even went out to sea last month and left me here to man the house. the way i see it, i am just as enlisted as he is. i am the one who irons all of his uniforms. i am the one who takes care of his children 24/7 while he is away. i am the one who manages the money and pays the bills. i am the one who calls maintenance when something needs fixed. i am the one who takes the car in for repairs. i am NOT complaining. i am just glad that i found a way to do my part.

military wives often get overlooked and forgotten. its sad really. even the military itself doesn't think things through for the spouses. i was recently in Illinois for my grandpas funeral and realized that i needed to pay our car payment. it just so happened that the loan was in johnny's name because the day we got our new truck i decided to head home with the twins to lay them down for a nap. even though i knew the account number and his social security number, they still wouldn't tell me just how much i needed to pay. i told them that i was out of state and that he was out to sea and they still didn't seem to care. this might not sound that bad at first, but this was a Navy bank. you would think that they would understand...NOPE! there have been many times when i was unable to pay a bill or even talk to housing because johnny wasn't with me. at times it can get so frustrating.

i have been fortunate enough not to be without my husband for months at a time. i know that this day will come shortly and i am trying to prepare myself. i respect and look up to the many ladies that do this on a regular basis. every military family is different, but the bottom line is that no one really knows what we go through if you haven't been there yourself. i am lucky enough to have two friends who are going through the same things. i consider myself extremely fortunate that i have them to lean on and talk to when things get rough. it was just a couple of weeks ago that i had to call a friend of mine in the early morning hours to run me to the airport. i think the biggest job of a military wife is being there for fellow wives.

here are few poems that i think help describe how i feel...
Loving a Sailor is a high price to pay...
Loving him truly is hard when he's away.
It's being alone with nothing to hold;
It 's being young; but feeling old;
It's having him whisper his love for you;
It's whispering back that you love him too.
There comes a kiss and a promise for more,
As his ship slowly pulls out the ocean's floor,
Reluctantly, painfully, letting him go,
While your insides are dying from wanting him so.
Watching him leave with eyes full of tears.
Standing alone with your hope, dreams and fears.
It's sending a letter with the stamp upside down.
To a far away love in a far away town.

A military wife is mostly girl. But there are times, such as when her husband is away and she is mowing the lawn or fixing a youngster's bike, that she begins to suspect she is also boy.
She usually comes in three sizes: petite, plump and pregnant. During the early years of her marriage it is often hard to determine which size is her normal one.
She has babies all over the world and measures time in terms of places as other women do in years. "It was in England that the children had the chicken pox...In was in Texas, Paul was promoted..." At least one of her babies was born or a transfer was accomplished while she was alone.
This causes her to suspect a secret pact between her husband and the military providing for a man to be overseas or on temporary duty at times such as these.A military wife is international. She may be a Kansas farm girl, a French mademoiselle, a Japanese doll, or a German Fraulein.
When discussing service problems, they all speak the same language.She can be a great actress. To heartbroken children at transfer time, she gives an Academy Award performance: "New Mexico is going to be such fun! I hear they have Indian reservations...and tarantulas...and rattlesnakes."
But her heart is breaking with theirs. She wonders if this is worth the sacrifice. An ideal military wife has the patience of an angel, the flexibility of putty, the wisdom of a scholar and the stamina of a horse. If she dislikes money, it helps. She is sentimental, carrying her memories with her in an old footlocker.
One might say she is a bigamist, sharing her husband with a demanding entity called "duty." When duty calls, she becomes No. 2 wife. Until she accepts this fact, her life can be miserable.
She is above all a woman who married a man who offered her the permanency of a gypsy, the miseries of loneliness, the frustration of conformity and the security of love. Sitting among her packing boxes with squabbling children nearby, she is sometimes willing to chuck it all in until she hears the firm step and cheerful voice of the lug who gave her all this.
Then she is happy to be...his military wife

i could go on and on about us military wives, but its johnny and his fellow sailors who put my in awe. they work so hard and so long. they go beyond the call of duty and never ask any questions. they are gone before sunrise each morning and barely home for dinner. they know what is at stake and proudly do their duty. is an example of why i feel this way.

back when johnny and i were just married, he was working long hours in his shop and even had a second job on the side. i can remember one weekend in particular when johnny had to work late for the Navy and then head straight to his second job. he then had to leave the second job early to go straight to watch. his watch lasted all night...just in time to get ready and head to the "sailor of the year" board. from there he went straight to work again. i did not see johnny for 48 hours. needless to say, he got sailor of the year. i think it goes without saying just how much he deserved it.

i am so proud of my husband and everything that he does. God is not going to put you through something that he doesn't think you can handle. you may not understand it at the time, but everything happens for a reason and it really does make you stronger.

God Bless

here are few pics of the twins having some last minute fun
in their pool before summer comes to an end.

splish splash
simply gorgeous
hehe :)
that's my girl (alyssa)

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