I have Cancer.

I have cancer.

Appendix cancer to be exact.

This photo was taken on December 15th, the day Johnathon returned from deployment and just 5 days before an ER trip would turn my world upside down.

The weeks after Johnathon deployed I began to get symptoms that individually I could make excuses for. 

Sore abdominal muscles; I was just more active doing the work of a single parent.

Bloating; I was making poor meal choices.

Exhaustion; I was going to bed late and waking early.

Loss of appetite; I was just being a busy mom who couldn't find the time to eat.

Weight loss; same as loss of appetite.

It wasn't until I started having pain after eating that I started to put my symptoms together.

"It's not cancer, right?" I asked my friends.

We laughed.

Of course a relatively healthy 28 year old wouldn't have cancer. Right? Surely it was my gallbladder or something with my stomach.

I decided to go to the doctor and was told I had heartburn. That's a long story that I will attempt to put into words one day.

Johnathon returned from deployment and within 5 days I was asking him to take me to the ER. It was after an ultrasound that they knew something was terribly wrong. More tests followed and I was told to follow up with another doctor the following day.

Long story short, I have stage 4 signet cell appendecial adenocarcinoma that has spread throughout my entire abdomen and bones.

My mom also learned that her breast cancer has returned and had spread as well. Let's just say that it was a few very dark weeks.

I am now receiving chemo treatments and waiting for scans to see how it's working.

Life is hard, but I am blessed.

Days are dark, but my heart is full.

I am sick, but I will not live a sick life.

I may have 2 years or I may have 50 and I plan on doing at least one thing each day that fills my heart with joy and brings happiness into my life.