Breathing

Thanks for all of the support over the last week. It's been a rough journey this far and it's is a breath of fresh air to know that everyone is so supportive and kind. Ya'll mean the world to me.

Mom's chemo went very well on Friday and she is still going strong. The chemo center is set up a lot like her dialysis unit and people come in shifts. Four people at 8:15, four more at 10...and so on. The nurses were very friendly and made the whole experience a good one. They answered all of our questions and ensured us that they were there for us and that they were ready to fight right alone with my mom. It was sweet.

The first hour and a half was all pre-medication for the nausea. After that, they gave her the chemo medicine, Adriamycin and Cytoxan. My mom handled it like a champ. In fact, I was the baby that day. When they sat down to talk about the side effects they said very matter of factly, "You WILL love your hair". Obviously I spoke up and asked when they thought that might happen. Her response was that the medication was so aggressive that my mom's hair should start falling out as soon as one week from that day. I lost it.

I had my weak moment.

I pulled myself together.

I was strong for my mom.

Today, my mom and I are taking the kids to the local splash park here in town. I'm sure we'll grab Subway or something for lunch and just enjoy this beautiful Summer afternoon.

No appointments for two whole days. No dialysis. No chemo.

We are finally able to breathe.

The girls are coping pretty well about Johnathon being gone. They tell me everyday that they miss him, but they seem to understand why he is gone...or as much as a 4 year old can.

Last night Alyssa asked me why her Daddy was always at work, but the other little girls at the fireworks had their dad's with them. It was hard to hear and my throat formed a lump before I answered, "Sweetheart, this holiday is EXACTLY why your daddy can't be here with you ALL of the time."

I know she doesn't understand what that means, but it was a huge eye opener for me.

Madelynn is officially sleeping in my bed. I can 100% look back and remember the EXACT moment that she refused to sleep in her own bed...the day her Daddy came home to visit.

Now here I am, stuck with a 19 month old who refuses to sleep anywhere but in my bed.

It's alright for the moment. I kind of enjoy the company.

As soon as things slow down a little we will be starting a little sleep training. I'm thinking a toddler bed in my bedroom may be our best bet at this time seeing as how she knows how to climb out of her crib. We'll see.