Hello!
Alyssa and Allison have been at their new school for 3 weeks now (they had a week off for Labor Day) and are loving it. They each love their teachers and so far, the uniforms are still a huge hit.
They started learning Mandarin yesterday and it just dawned on me that it won't be long before they are having private conversations behind my back and I won't have a clue as to what they are talking about.
*forehead smack*
Wish me luck as I attempt to piece together a completely unfamiliar language just off of their take-home papers. :)
Madelynn is doing well also. She will be four years old in October and I have noticed her maturing over the last few months. I'm not sure if it is just her age, or maybe the fact that she is now a big sister to the cutest baby EVER. Either way, I'm enjoying this change in her.
She has been my little partner-in-crime through this whole foster care process and has even taken a liking to D's bio dad. I think she looks forward to his visits because she gets to go with me to a new place with new toys and she has my undivided attention while D visits with is dad. She's not a huge fan of D's bio mom and unfortunately, she let her know last week.
AWKWARD!
Baby D is just as perfect as possible.
I started making his baby food two weeks ago and it has been a HUGE hit with D. He started with a little sweet potato mixed with brown rice cereal and loved it. Two days ago we introduced avocado mixed with brown rice cereal and he no longer entertains the idea of sweet potatoes. :)
I made the mistake of telling my social worker last week that things seemed boring with D's case. I felt like I had gotten used to the case and the visits were somewhat consistent. For the first time in 5 months I felt like we had found our groove and things were running smoothly.
That didn't last long.
The next day I received a call from someone who had been mostly MIA throughout the entire process, an email from bio-family and someone else missed a visit for the first time in WEEKS. It has just gotten more crazy since then. I've come to realize that I am on more then just an emotional roller coaster, I'm on someone else's "where are my priorities today?" roller coaster.
I wake up in the morning having no idea what my day will be like. One simple phone call could snowball into 15 phone calls (literally) and the lack of a simple phone call could change ALL of my plans for the following week. It's been difficult, but I am doing really well with this learning process. It's not always easy, but I try my hardest to take it one day at a time.
I'm pretty sure I know how this case will end, but we are just waiting out our time until we go to court in December.
Johnathon has been very busy with work lately.
It's funny, when Johnathon first told me about his orders to CNATT-U, I was excited at the thought of having him home at a decent hour everyday and getting to spend time as a family. I should have known my husband better.
When he sees early hours and an opportunity, he takes full advantage of it. I can't complain. He's usually home by 4PM and is able to have dinner with us, but that is followed by more work at home. To top it all off, he won Senior Sailor of the Quarter a few months ago and his Senior Sailor of the Year board is just days away. He also went up for President of the First Class Association and WON!!
"For everyone to whom much is given, of him shall much be required." -- Luke 12:48
Johnathon is still volunteering like the world depends on it and doing much more than what is expected. He has been given so many great opportunities during his career, but they were each earned with great dedication.
He was honored to have the opportunity to do an interview about his dedication to volunteering. You can read about that HERE.
As for me, I'm as busy as ever.
On top of being an active foster parent and attending visits (at least 3 a week), I am an active part in the EPO at my daughters' school, on the Fall Festival committee, a room parent for Alyssa's classroom and attending back rehab 3 times a week.
Some say I'm crazy.
I believe those people! :)
Happy Wednesday. xo
Showing posts with label Baby D. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby D. Show all posts
September 11, 2013
July 25, 2013
July 24, 2013
Eager and Willing
My philosophy going into foster care was that I wanted to maintain the best relationship possible with every bio-parent that we came into contact with. There were so many perks to this way of thinking.
1. It will be better for the child to see a good healthy relationship.
2. Whether the child is reunified or adopted, good communication will make everything easier.
3. Visits would be less awkward.
4. No matter the end result, this child would remain having us all in his life.
I could go on and on.
Boy, oh boy, did that philosophy change.
Do I still think that all parties involved should try to maintain a responsible, respectful and courteous relationship? Of course!!
You see, that's the issue.
I soon realized that the majority of bio-parents that we would meet would NOT be responsible, respectful and courteous.
I've given much thought to sharing my story. I mean, what's allowed and what's not. I'm technically not allowed to share 'their' story, but isn't this my story too? Aren't I a HUGE part of this story?
My point is not to release private details or make anyone look bad, it's to share my experiences and show this challenging and stressful side of foster care.
I get along fine with D's bio-parents, but that doesn't mean that I am supportive of all of their decisions.
Something that I have learned as a foster parent is that not everyone is respectable of the rules and guidelines. That can be very difficult to handle when you constantly go out of your way to do the exact opposite and create a positive environment.
When my phone rings I literally have to say to myself, "This is a business call".
If not, there is too much emotion.
I feel a lot of guilt when there is a missed visit, even if I am the only one who showed up and remembered about it.
Being a foster parent is balancing a fine line between not letting yourself get walked on and not walking over others.
When we received our first placement I was eager and willing to do whatever I needed to do in order to make this a positive experience. Going into our next placement, I have developed thicker skin and I am more aware of what is expected of me.
Someone recently asked me if being a foster parent was harder then what I thought it would be. My response was simple, no. It is EXACTLY as hard as I thought it would be.
This is almost exactly what I thought the bio-parents would be like. The hard part is living it. It's thinking in a moment how to respond to such an absurd comment or question. It's learning to communicate with a teenager equivalent.
Baby D is still in our home and thriving. In fact, DSEP was here recently and she was so impressed with his development. He rolled over at 6 weeks and coos non-stop. He is perfect in every way.
1. It will be better for the child to see a good healthy relationship.
2. Whether the child is reunified or adopted, good communication will make everything easier.
3. Visits would be less awkward.
4. No matter the end result, this child would remain having us all in his life.
I could go on and on.
Boy, oh boy, did that philosophy change.
Do I still think that all parties involved should try to maintain a responsible, respectful and courteous relationship? Of course!!
You see, that's the issue.
I soon realized that the majority of bio-parents that we would meet would NOT be responsible, respectful and courteous.
I've given much thought to sharing my story. I mean, what's allowed and what's not. I'm technically not allowed to share 'their' story, but isn't this my story too? Aren't I a HUGE part of this story?
My point is not to release private details or make anyone look bad, it's to share my experiences and show this challenging and stressful side of foster care.
I get along fine with D's bio-parents, but that doesn't mean that I am supportive of all of their decisions.
Something that I have learned as a foster parent is that not everyone is respectable of the rules and guidelines. That can be very difficult to handle when you constantly go out of your way to do the exact opposite and create a positive environment.
When my phone rings I literally have to say to myself, "This is a business call".
If not, there is too much emotion.
I feel a lot of guilt when there is a missed visit, even if I am the only one who showed up and remembered about it.
Being a foster parent is balancing a fine line between not letting yourself get walked on and not walking over others.
When we received our first placement I was eager and willing to do whatever I needed to do in order to make this a positive experience. Going into our next placement, I have developed thicker skin and I am more aware of what is expected of me.
Someone recently asked me if being a foster parent was harder then what I thought it would be. My response was simple, no. It is EXACTLY as hard as I thought it would be.
This is almost exactly what I thought the bio-parents would be like. The hard part is living it. It's thinking in a moment how to respond to such an absurd comment or question. It's learning to communicate with a teenager equivalent.
Baby D is still in our home and thriving. In fact, DSEP was here recently and she was so impressed with his development. He rolled over at 6 weeks and coos non-stop. He is perfect in every way.
May 20, 2013
Paying Attention
About once a day I have an overwhelming feeling to smack myself.
You see, I THOUGHT that I was paying attention in training. I THOUGHT I had all of the ins and outs of being a foster parent memorized. I THOUGHT that the child or bio family would be the most difficult and tiring part of this journey.
Boy, did I think wrong!
I knew that there would be appointments to schedule and attend, but what I didn't anticipate was the many phone calls that I would receive on a daily basis. Or how tiring it is to explain baby D's story to every desk clerk, nurse and doctor that we see.
By our fourth appointment, though, I had finally gotten a routine down to just handing over our FFA agreement and telling them that they would need a copy. Any other questions were answered with a firm "I'm not at liberty to discuss that." and busily finished filling out the 1000th form of which I could only answer 2% of all the questions.
Because of baby D's young age, there is a lot of paperwork on top of the many appointments and I can't even begin to describe the frustration that comes with that.
Example:
FORM - Please list all family health history.
ME - Yeah, okay!
FORM - Brief description of prenatal care?
ME - Your guess is as good as mine.
You get the idea.
Never mind the fact that NO ONE actually knew D's legal name until last week. It's nice to finally have that information.
Between our Angels social worker, the county social worker, D's attorney, well child check-ups, WIC appointments, infant message lessons and raising three very adorable little girls, life has gotten a little full. I mean that in a good way. I don't mind the fullness and constant moving that comes with being D's foster mom. I actually enjoy it.
We received news last week about what may be D's permanent plan and even though that was a hard pill to swallow, I am happy. I know that this is the best possible situation and that this what will be best for D in the long scheme of things. That doesn't make it any easier on us though.
All three girls are head-over-heels in love with this little man and are constantly asking to hold or feed him. I'm most surprised at how helpful Madelynn has been and how easily she became quite the big sister.
Allison was Star-of-the-Week in her class last week and tomorrow it will be Alyssa's turn. I've had such a fun time helping them pick out the items that they wanted to take to class and show everyone.
I'm not sure what room I want to share next for our Home Tour, but I am thinking about painting our downstairs half bath. I may just hold off and make that the next tour when it is finished.
That's it for now. xoxo
You see, I THOUGHT that I was paying attention in training. I THOUGHT I had all of the ins and outs of being a foster parent memorized. I THOUGHT that the child or bio family would be the most difficult and tiring part of this journey.
Boy, did I think wrong!
I knew that there would be appointments to schedule and attend, but what I didn't anticipate was the many phone calls that I would receive on a daily basis. Or how tiring it is to explain baby D's story to every desk clerk, nurse and doctor that we see.
By our fourth appointment, though, I had finally gotten a routine down to just handing over our FFA agreement and telling them that they would need a copy. Any other questions were answered with a firm "I'm not at liberty to discuss that." and busily finished filling out the 1000th form of which I could only answer 2% of all the questions.
Because of baby D's young age, there is a lot of paperwork on top of the many appointments and I can't even begin to describe the frustration that comes with that.
Example:
FORM - Please list all family health history.
ME - Yeah, okay!
FORM - Brief description of prenatal care?
ME - Your guess is as good as mine.
You get the idea.
Never mind the fact that NO ONE actually knew D's legal name until last week. It's nice to finally have that information.
Between our Angels social worker, the county social worker, D's attorney, well child check-ups, WIC appointments, infant message lessons and raising three very adorable little girls, life has gotten a little full. I mean that in a good way. I don't mind the fullness and constant moving that comes with being D's foster mom. I actually enjoy it.
We received news last week about what may be D's permanent plan and even though that was a hard pill to swallow, I am happy. I know that this is the best possible situation and that this what will be best for D in the long scheme of things. That doesn't make it any easier on us though.
All three girls are head-over-heels in love with this little man and are constantly asking to hold or feed him. I'm most surprised at how helpful Madelynn has been and how easily she became quite the big sister.
Allison was Star-of-the-Week in her class last week and tomorrow it will be Alyssa's turn. I've had such a fun time helping them pick out the items that they wanted to take to class and show everyone.
I'm not sure what room I want to share next for our Home Tour, but I am thinking about painting our downstairs half bath. I may just hold off and make that the next tour when it is finished.
That's it for now. xoxo
May 8, 2013
GOTCHA DAY: Baby 'D'
I can't even put into words what my thoughts were as I hurried through my lunch that Saturday afternoon. I had given this day much thought over the last two weeks and what I had anticipated as feelings of joy and excitement quickly turned to feelings of nervousness and anxiety.
My mind could no longer focus on the excitement of a precious little baby, but instead on the regulations and rules of foster care. I was intimidated by thought of getting it all right and remembering to do the right things.
Alyssa was able to join us at the hospital to pick up baby D and she was very excited to meet her little brother. What I loved most about this moment was that Alyssa was unaware of what it meant to be in foster care. To her, he was simply her brother. She didn't care that one day he would be leaving us. She didn't care that he had different biological parents. She just loved him.
We met our social worker in the lobby and together we found our way to the NICU where baby D was being held. I can't share much except that baby D was born perfectly healthy and perfect.
I was able to hold him for about two hours while we waited for all of our paperwork to be finished and for the nurses to say their good-byes. They told me that they had 're-named' him amongst themselves and that they had been calling him Theo.
After I signed on all of the dotted lines and collected all of baby D's discharge papers, I was finally able to get him dressed and in his car seat. He was a tiny little thing and oh so precious.
One moment that touched my heart was when one of the nurses insisted on walking us to our car. It was then that she told us just how happy she was for baby D and that he was going home with us because she knew how much love he would receive in our home. She was genuinely thrilled to see his big sister, Alyssa, wanting to help out so much and knew that he would do great with our family. She tearfully said good-bye to little 'Theo' and everything suddenly got real.
Our social worker had her own set of papers for us to sign and then we were off.
The drive home was a bit surreal. I opted to drive and let Johnathon sit in the back with his son.
(I'm still adjusting to using that word: son.)
From there, everything just kind of fell into place. It's amazing how much parenting is like riding a bike. I quickly realized that the itty-bitty-baby part would be the easiest and the foster care part is what would be draining.
It's now been 11 days since we picked up our little guy and I honestly have a hard time remembering what life was like without him. Of course there was more sleep and more opportunity to be lazy, but just a few minutes of snuggles and it all seems worth it.
There are only a few things that make this journey difficult for me.
The first would be how unfair it is that I can't share any pictures. I understand why I can't, but it still stinks.
The second is, of course, trying to understand bio mom's train of thought. I can't share too much on this topic, but her choices really do sadden me.
The third issue is only an issue because I enjoy staying so organized, but I have a hard time keeping up with appointments, well child check-ups, county social worker, angels social worker, bio parents, countless phone calls, etc. It's always another name, another number, another appointment.
Just some interesting info...
My mind could no longer focus on the excitement of a precious little baby, but instead on the regulations and rules of foster care. I was intimidated by thought of getting it all right and remembering to do the right things.
Alyssa was able to join us at the hospital to pick up baby D and she was very excited to meet her little brother. What I loved most about this moment was that Alyssa was unaware of what it meant to be in foster care. To her, he was simply her brother. She didn't care that one day he would be leaving us. She didn't care that he had different biological parents. She just loved him.
We met our social worker in the lobby and together we found our way to the NICU where baby D was being held. I can't share much except that baby D was born perfectly healthy and perfect.
I was able to hold him for about two hours while we waited for all of our paperwork to be finished and for the nurses to say their good-byes. They told me that they had 're-named' him amongst themselves and that they had been calling him Theo.
After I signed on all of the dotted lines and collected all of baby D's discharge papers, I was finally able to get him dressed and in his car seat. He was a tiny little thing and oh so precious.
One moment that touched my heart was when one of the nurses insisted on walking us to our car. It was then that she told us just how happy she was for baby D and that he was going home with us because she knew how much love he would receive in our home. She was genuinely thrilled to see his big sister, Alyssa, wanting to help out so much and knew that he would do great with our family. She tearfully said good-bye to little 'Theo' and everything suddenly got real.
Our social worker had her own set of papers for us to sign and then we were off.
The drive home was a bit surreal. I opted to drive and let Johnathon sit in the back with his son.
(I'm still adjusting to using that word: son.)
From there, everything just kind of fell into place. It's amazing how much parenting is like riding a bike. I quickly realized that the itty-bitty-baby part would be the easiest and the foster care part is what would be draining.
It's now been 11 days since we picked up our little guy and I honestly have a hard time remembering what life was like without him. Of course there was more sleep and more opportunity to be lazy, but just a few minutes of snuggles and it all seems worth it.
There are only a few things that make this journey difficult for me.
The first would be how unfair it is that I can't share any pictures. I understand why I can't, but it still stinks.
The second is, of course, trying to understand bio mom's train of thought. I can't share too much on this topic, but her choices really do sadden me.
The third issue is only an issue because I enjoy staying so organized, but I have a hard time keeping up with appointments, well child check-ups, county social worker, angels social worker, bio parents, countless phone calls, etc. It's always another name, another number, another appointment.
Just some interesting info...
- I'm not 100% on baby D's legal name, how it is spelled or even what it is. This makes EVERYTHING more difficult.
- Baby D has his days and nights mixed up... NOT FUN!
- Baby D is perfect. Except for the days/nights thing I just mentioned, he is 100%, without a doubt, the most perfect and well mannered baby I have ever had the opportunity to meet.
- My husband is in love. He is so in love that he willingly handles both night time feedings on his own.
- Madelynn is quite the big sister! :)
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